We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
