Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
