Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
