dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
