So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
