i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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