Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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