She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
