YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
