What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
