Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize