i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
