She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
