Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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