what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
