Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
