My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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