Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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