Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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