I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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