I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I only lived at night.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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