tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize