u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
