its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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