The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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