I wanna bring you to show and tell
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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