When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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