i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
