Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize