I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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