I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
