We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
