So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
