turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
two words: eviction party
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
