i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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