I want to have your abortion
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
