gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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