It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
