Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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