found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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