So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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