Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize