I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
