It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
