Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize