my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
