I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
