What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
