HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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