Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
