drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
