: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
