break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
