can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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