just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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