What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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