my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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