I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
