Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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