help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
birth control should be required to get into college
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
