remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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