A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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