I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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