That's intense
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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