she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
